Thursday, April 26, 2007

Cuttin' Crocs

Well, we told you we'd be doing plenty of work once summer began and we've already got a new video for you. Yes, we shot it just yesterday, when we found our camera hidden behind some books in our library. It is so big, we frequently lose things in it. Anyway, the video consists of Kate doing some arts and crafts featuring scissors and a pair of yellow Crocs. We hope you like it and we also hope you will like the next few videos we have planned.

Get the word out, Croc-Blockers. Our time is nigh!

Wednesday, April 25, 2007

A plague of biblical proportions.

With the warmer weather becoming more and more apparent in our corner of the globe, Vincenzo has been urging me out of the dark, cavernous recesses of the manor. Summer is upon us at last, and he can no longer do it alone. The menace is back, with a vengeance.

Just when we had begun to hope that the ravages of cold and time would put to rest this ungodly fad, they get corporate sponsorship. I was absolutely horrified today, upon visiting the local Shoppe-Mall to pick up some food for the horses, to find Crocs with Mickey-Mouse stamped holes in them. You, too, can have a conglomerate icon sunburnt onto your feet. The horror!

Not only that, but I saw them in nearly every store. I saw imitations in stores catered to children too young to fight back. I saw knock-offs in shoe stores, racks upon racks towering over unsuspecting customers. Like cockroaches crawling out from beneath the ruin of the apocalypse, Crocs are back, and the slaughter of acceptable footwear must be stemmed.

It's time to step up and fight. Summer is here.

Saturday, April 21, 2007

Peter Barlow from Coronation Street says no to Crocs - so can you!

The weather is getting warmer and warmer. Yesterday, I didn't wear my jacket and instead of taking our heated, chauffeured car to town, Kate and I walked. It was very pleasant, though we both know that with the new warmth, Crocs have returned.

Emails frequently bring us hope, however, as the following did, from our friend Andy:

Hello I hate Crocs,

A friend of mine recently visited my house.

We were mid chat when i was distracted by his stupid fucking footwear. Having never seen a pair of 'Crocs' before i enquired as to whether or not he had a foot problem and these were some form of orthapedic shoe, either that or he was into some bizarre foot fetish. This person is a British celebrity, known for his role as Peter Barlow in Britains longest running soap opera, 'Coronation Street'

Chris Gascoyne (AKA Peter Barlow) has now admitted that they do indeed look fucking ridiculous, are uncomfortable and to his credit he has now said he wont be wearing them again as they are rubbing the skin off of his feet. He has just left my house, bright red and promised to put the crocs in the bin, (i for one would never be seen in public with him wearing these awful monstrosities)